If you follow Chris Stephens on social media you should know that he will take you on an adventure full of amazing people and beautiful places. You’ll see breathtaking views as the sun rises against mountain backdrops. You’ll also see glimpses of his trail running adventures as he laces up his running shoes and tackles another woodland adventure. Amongst the nature shots you’ll undoubtedly notice a black bracelet that proudly declares the words “Miles for Mike” on one side and “Stop Soldier Suicide” on the other. Those six words come together to tell a story of loss, honor, remembrance, and a resolve to use grief to fuel action.
The first time you see a picture of Chris with his late brother Mike you may make an assumption that they are twins - you wouldn’t be the first. These brothers, only 18-months apart, grew up outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. Their days were typically spent riding their bikes, building forts in the woods, and running wild and free with the neighborhood kids. It was a quintessential “Small Town USA” type of childhood. In high school, Chris and Mike worked side-by-side at a local convenience store that just so happened to be one of the local hang out spots. Chris remembers, “We loved like brothers and fought like brothers - it was really special.”
It was when Chris was home from college, hanging out at home, that he learned Mike had enlisted in the Navy. “He came running into the house, ran down to the basement, and just announced, ‘I just joined the Navy!’ He was so excited! I was so excited. His next line was, ‘Now let’s go get tattoos!’ So that’s what we did,” recalled Chris.
Mike opted for a sizable eagle on his back and Chris scaled it back a few times before also getting the same design. Of course, it became a playful point of contention that Mike’s tattoo was bigger. As Chris told the story he added, “ People say that you’ll regret your tattoo someday but I can promise you that I’ll never regret my tattoo.”
During his time in the Navy, Mike stayed in touch with Chris by handwritten letters and long distance phone calls. Mike enjoyed seeing the world and got to experience far off places like Israel and he even spent one Thanksgiving in Italy. Chris said, “he didn’t share a lot about his service and at the time, I didn’t know to ask. Back then, nobody was checking on service members.”
Mike returned from his service and really struggled to find his footing. He would cycle through windows of time when things seemed to be turning around, like when he established his own tiling business, but then things would get difficult and bottom out again. Chris shared that no matter the ups and downs, one thing that maintained their brotherly bond was their shared love for baseball. When opening day rolled around they would text back and forth with fervor and they made time to attend games together. Baseball always brought them back together.
Chris caught a foul ball at the last baseball game the brothers attended together. Of course, Mike liked to tell the story including a detail about Chris throwing an elbow to make sure he could get the ball. “Not true,” claims Chris. That fly ball became one more inside joke between the brothers. Mike would make sure to check on the ball from time to time. Chris, ever the jokester, would tell him that the dog was out in the yard playing with it or that his daughter was busy coloring it with magic markers.
There are so many special memories that these brothers were able to make over the years. However, struggles were dispersed within these happy and joyful times. While it was difficult for Chris and his family to see Mike struggle, they remained ever supportive of Mike. They were always a safe place for him to turn no matter the challenge. Even though they kept in touch, they never saw the loss coming. Chris said, “He was doing really really bad, then he was doing really, really well, and then he was gone. I don’t understand it.”
It was on Memorial Day in 2017 that Mike died by suicide. At Mike’s funeral, Chris had the honor and challenge of speaking. As he did, he held that baseball, which gave him strength and peace. Once he was done speaking, he placed the ball with Mike and let him watch over it now. Baseball continues to keep the brothers connected.
“I didn’t want to sit down and think about why or what could have been. The day after he died I got up and went running like I usually would,” shared Chris. It turned out that running would become the way that Chris found his way through grief.
A friend had encouraged Chris to try to find an organization doing work to support the military, with the goal of establishing community and support as he navigated his profound loss. Around that time, Stop Soldier Suicide was within his Facebook feed and Chris decided to take on one of our challenges. “SSS helped give me a platform - the material, the knowledge, and the understanding - in a way that could raise support and awareness,” said Chris. The miles that Chris was already running were able to carry new meaning.
“Miles for Mike” is the way that Chris has combined his commitment to running with his mission to keep Mike’s memory alive all while raising awareness and support for veterans and service members. He created black bracelets that have “Miles for Mike” and “Stop Soldier Suicide” on them. Supporters are encouraged to post on social media as they wear their bracelets and especially as they run, hike, bike, or otherwise enjoy the outdoors and use #MilesForMike as they do.
Chris is proof that one person can make an impact. We are amazed by the ripples of impact he has created as he honors Mike while also helping us advance our mission. “I've had our bracelets show up in Japan, Australia, Africa and Alaska, and it's just been amazing," Chris says. They have also shown up in all 50 states! Chris is living in a missional way while continuing his healing journey, keeping Mike’s memory alive, and creating tangible support that fuels our mission.
His impact has only grown as he officially joined Stop Soldier Suicide as a staff member two years ago. He is an incredible designer and creative professional. We benefit so much from the talent, heart, and commitment he brings to our mission. He is the type of coworker everyone should be so lucky to have.
The transparent way Chris talks about his loss survivor journey creates a safe space for those who are also walking through grief and for those who wish to learn and grow their understanding. Recently, Chris posted to Instagram about opening day and how that day will “never not be the hardest day.” It is a reminder of all the baseball games they should be watching together.
Chris sharing about both Mike’s life and death is a poignant reminder that we have to get to our veterans and service members sooner. We need to make sure that more families can make it to baseball games together, that more brothers can hike trails together, and get more matching tattoos. Together, we must solve for the suicide crisis within the military community. We must.
What is Your Call to Action?
Chris is living a life that is one big, powerful, relentless call-to-action: To keep Mike’s memory alive while supporting Stop Soldier Suicide. It begs the question: what is your call to action in this critical mission? We suggest you start by following Chris on social media to learn, better understand, support him and find inspiration. We also stand ready with numerous ways that you can begin creating your own ripple effect in this mission to solve for suicide within the military community.