This story is authored by our Chief Clinical Officer, Sonja Batten, Ph.D. It is a powerful example of how our ROGER Wellness Service is always here to answer the call when veterans or service members need us most. Our team of clinicians provide compassionate, suicide-specific care in a 1-1 setting that holds space for the tough stuff while honoring the totality of who each person is. We enter into clinical relationships without assumptions but rather with a commitment to listen well and use our expertise to help veterans and service members through some of their darkest moments. Being someone’s “provider number 31” doesn’t intimidate us, as you will soon read. Rather, it increases our resolve to show up and serve the military community each and every day.
We were provider number 31. She told us, kindly, not to get our hopes up.
After working with 30 other providers, she was understandably skeptical of therapy and of the whole clinical approach, really.
Our highly skilled wellness coordinator in this case didn’t try to change her mind. She didn’t question her stated experience or offer reassurance. She acknowledged how frustrating it must feel to try so many paths without finding relief.
Then she offered something simple: to meet her halfway. Would she be open to trying our approach, just for a month?
She agreed, she stayed, and over time, she re-engaged in care - rebuilding trust in the process through consistency and time.
Our clinician didn’t try to change her mind. She didn’t minimize her experience or rush to reassure her; she focused on making the room feel steady enough for her to stay.
She created enough room for trust to start forming, without relying on optimism or pressure. She focused on building safety in that first exchange, not on changing her mind.
In other words, she validated her experience and started from there.
Validation doesn’t mean fixing the feeling or trying to move past it. It means showing the client we’re still there and still listening, even when hope feels out of reach.
It also means recognizing doubt and acknowledging a client’s emotional reality without trying to solve it or explain it away.
By holding a clinical stance that’s confident enough to stay steady, and humble enough not to assume we always know what’s best, we can keep someone connected long enough to collaboratively decide on direction with the client and for treatment to start working.
That’s the balance we ask of every clinician on our team, and one I’ve tried to model throughout my career.
Sometimes, that balance is what makes provider number 31 feel different.
Our ROGER Wellness Service offers suicide prevention resources, virtual mental health counseling, and safety planning 100% free to U.S. veterans and service members.